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Bureaucracy for Dummies June 8, 2012

Filed under: General — Shoaib @ 5:25 am

“Bureaucracy has demolished and distressed the image of our nation”

“These Bureaucrats have derailed the economy of Pakistan”

“Bureaucracy is a corrupt and fraudulent structure”

These are some common statements and proclamations that we listen and conquer everyday on media and surroundings. The general conception among masses is also not very different. People censure bureaucracy for the downslide of this nation’s progress.  Repeatedly bloggers and columnists taunt and mock them as the diseased “bureauc-RATs” or “bureau-tards” of the nation. Furthermore the entire bureaucratic system is blamed and apprehended responsible for the mayhem, annihilation and despotism caused in the republic. It is usually interlinked with the red tape culture. All the Govt. establishments, institutes and organizations follow the footsteps and doctrine of bureaucracy. Citizens are now fed up of this system and hence they look towards alternatives & here comes the Private sector.

But is bureaucracy really a flop and fail system? What is it actually?

Here it goes. Bureaucracy was evolved in the 19th century by a German theorist named Max Weber. He developed a systematic approach of management which can be implemented on organizations for an effective and efficient outcome. Since then the concept of “bureaucratic organizations” came into existence. It works on six main principles:

  • Division of Labor – allocate the labor into groups of specific skill set.
  • Hierarchy of Authority – Proper allocation of heads on a specific department.
  • Promotions on Merit and Qualifications
  • All acts and decision must be recorded in writing – Recordkeeping is essential.
  • Management must be separate from the ownership of organization
  • Managers are subject to rules and regulations.

These 6 rules ensure a solid structure of an organization. Promotions on merit brings quality and eminence staff on the top. Recordkeeping of every act guarantees the minimal chances of corruption and hence a person can be held accountable. Management must be separate from the owner and take decisions in favor of the firm disregarding nepotism and favoritism. When all the employees would be bound to follow rules and regulations then all would be treated on equivalent grounds.

Here are few examples of bureaucratic styled organizations working efficiently. National Highways and Motorway Police is one of the prime illustrations. In 2002 it was reported by NAB, NHMP being the only corruption free department in the country. National Bank of Pakistan is another fine example, it is the most established and stable bank among other private banks. Just because of its bureaucratic structure. There are other numerous examples.

Have we ever noticed that why the corrupted fraudulent cases and scams that appear in media are mostly from govt. institutes? Why there isn’t any case from Private sector as compared to the govt. sector? Is the private sector free from greedy contamination? Don’t they enjoy corruption? Are they all liberated and pure from sin? No, it’s the structure of the organization which doesn’t allow accountability in there segment. No justification or liability is expected; neither has it hit the main stream.  Where as in govt. sector every act is written and recorded and therefore they are straightforwardly wedged.

Therefore if we see legitimately there is nothing majorly erroneous with the system’s structure, it’s with the people. The moral values, ethics and character of our society have deteriorated so badly that it has infected every system.  The problem is with the attitude and psyche of our nation. We are so immune to corruption and fallacy. So instead of blaming a system we need to understand that the problem lies within ourselves.

Bureaucracy is a system based on rational principles and elements. It has its repercussions in the form of slow paced procedures and time taking dealings. But it eliminates the remaining chances of any error. If implemented properly and executed with utter devotion this ideology can terminate the base of corruption and dishonesty. So next time when we hold bureaucracy responsible, let’s not criticize the system but the personnel’s.

 

Political Humor Version 1.0 May 28, 2012

Below mentioned points here are a comical and humorous side of politics and happenings in “The Islamic Republic of Pakistan”. It’s a weekly compilation hope you all enjoy. So lets begin !!!

  • Dr. Fehmida Mirza, wife of the “Maula Jutt” of PPP has dismissed the bids and references to disqualify PM Gillani. After all she is bound to obey to her party; sorry I mean the constitution and the parliament. While this decision was out PM Gilani quoted this epic catastrophe as the victory for democracy and for the first time in history of Pakistan democracy has won. Really, first time?  He celebrated this verdict with a large bottle of champagne and squirted it all over the parliament in MotoGP style. And off course Chaudry nisar was found whining about the verdict and declared that he would delete the Speaker from his FB Friend list.
  • Meanwhile Dr. Shakeel Afridi has been sentenced for 33 years in jail for treason and conspiracy against the state. He was convicted and found guilty under the tribal justice system. A remarkable dazzling conclusion and an obvious message to the whole nation that we are here to aid and preserve terrorists not to reveal their identity. After all they are fighting for Islam and 72 virgins.
  • On Wednesday the Shareef-ist of all, Nawaz Shareef cracked some jokes among the spectators in Attock. He said we have no hand in making this Govt. and Zardari as President. Yeah sure! He added further that none among the current govt. is sincere. Spot on! He also pleaded to vote him again and bring him in power so he can distribute the remaining laptops and secure the future of youth.
  • “Mohajir Sooba” is the word trending these days not only on the internet but also on the walls of Karachi. Wall-chalking are found on many places and even near the GHQ of Karachi – Azizabad -90. But eccentrically, MQM the largest political party of Karachi have no clue about it and who did it. They also completely disowned this movement but they are in favor of it. Hmmm strange!!!!
  • After receiving thousands of entries from across the country, countless participants, many gala rounds, duet rounds and solo performances, Chaudry Nisar of PMLN has finally selected 3 names for CEC and rejected all 3 names proposed by PPP. Following to this success an independent election commission would be formed and PPP would be re-elected again but on merit this time.
  • Recently, PTI is in the process of organizing a party meeting, which would suggest a committee, which would form a body, that will form a panel of law officials and then lastly they will find a lawyer and file a constitutional petition against PM Gillani for illegally holding the office. A civilized and sober approach to handle things quickly.
  • FBR has seized all bank accounts of Mobilink, because they haven’t paid the taxes which they have collected from customers and never submitted to the relevant national account. Mobilink officials have explained their firm is in deficit as they had to pay large amounts to Misbah-ul-haq and the rest for advertisements. Further adding, that the remaining amount in utilized on female call center agents who entertain and engage the nation while they complain. And lastly they authoritatively added that “Ye tax apna hai …. Jesay Jazz apna hai.”
  • PCB has to host the Australians for limited over series but ironically they can’t find any international venues where they can be treated as guests and then host the Kangaroos. Am confused.
  • Cavemen Rana Naveed eyes for one more chance in the Pakistani team so that he can prove that exceptional and extinct creatures can still perform although they don’t come these days in the world of China.
  • On the other hand veteran Muhammad Yousuf has categorically stated that the car which has been driven more, is likely to get damaged and repaired. My vintage car is still half-a-new and running like Ferrari.

That’s all folks from this week. All the analysis is in line with pure humor and not to be taken seriously.

 

Deal well done. May 23, 2012

Filed under: General — Shoaib @ 6:25 am

My eyes could not believe that we the third world dishonored and disgraced country were the center of discussion in the current Chicago summit. Almost 50 countries are relying and depending on our decision.  Our yes or no will decide the fortune of the WOT in the coming days. Although, we can only say is YES.

That’s the recent activity going on. President Zardari also known as the best man to negotiate and settle the deal has been sent to the conference after countless requests to attend the summit. The core issues that have to be settled are Drones, Apology from US, reopening of the NATO Supply route and most important of all “Dollars – the foreign aid” we would get after advertising and selling our remaining pride, respect and honor. I am sure President would certainly not disappoint us this important matter.

On the other hand we the Pakistanis are so excited to have the Turk Prime Minister. Long live Turk-Pakistan friendship and may they prosper ever after and blah blah blah. But, why is the Turk PM in Pakistan suddenly on such a short notice? I am sure he is not here for sightseeing or the mango season. Although there was a dinner announced later that evening by PM Gillani in honor of the Turkish PM, which was boycotted by the friendly opposition.  Apparently the opposition’s protest was at the moment that why “Murgh Choola” and “Paaye” are not included on the menu being the national cuisine of Pakistan.

Now due to the current circumstances the American Congress has decided to stop all the funds and defense coalition with Pakistan as a good gesture of their kind rebuttal. NATO has recommended in the summit to Pakistan to open the supply routes and get back on track. But I believe it’s more of an order to open up the supply routes or else!!! Get ready for the surprise gift.

Cutting the facts out this is what seems to be the picture, the friendly opposition is persistent that US apologizes for the Salalah Attack & NATO supply should not be opened. They are acting like brats and not pay attention to their immediate guardians a.k.a. PPP. Therefore their foster parents decided that the Turk PM should address the parliament floor and make them realize that they have grown up and to show some flexibility and matureness in these issues. Turk PM would negotiate with the Opposition. On the flip side President Zardari would be cutting the deal pretty efficiently.

And it seems this is what would happen. The NATO supply route would open soon and they would agree on the transit fees per container going through our route. Zardari has demanded $5000 from the current $250, which am sure would be settled somewhere in the middle. He is good at negotiating, kudos for that. The apology from US would never arrive. Drones would get stopped for some time as the elections are near and sooner the technology would be owned by Pakistan itself, hence then it would be acceptable. The foreign aids would begin coming in again with more interest rates, cut backs and harsh conditions to inflate. And the Turkish babysitter would look after the spoiled opposition. Case dismissed, Long live Pakistan.

 

A Probable Solution for Karachi May 5, 2012

Filed under: General — Shoaib @ 9:00 am

ImageKarachi – the city of lights, a place where many dwell their imaginations and dreams. The beauty of this city has always been in its diversified cultural and ethnic colors. This city has offered to all more than its own potential and capacity. It has been more than 60 years and still people from our rural vicinity look up to this city to attempt their fortune in here. It’s a mini Pakistan, we find individuals from all groups, sects, ethnics, and religions in here. This city used to be mother of jobs providing opportunities and employments, knowing the fact that the immigrants (Mahajirs) who migrated at the time of independence were the settlers and deserved an edge. At the moment the city has almost one third population of Mahajirs, about one third of combined Pashtun and Sindhi and the remaining are mixed groups including Bengalis, Biharis, Christians and Hindus.

Meanwhile the population has been increasing without any check and balance. The continuously growing violence and timidity is denting the city very harshly. The ethnic war has reached at its uppermost stage and seems uncontainable. There are no signs of dawdling it down. The residents have found a way to safeguard their interest but not without hurting others welfare. They have become immune to violence and aggression that everyday killings is no more but a News slide for a minute. The land mafia culture is strongest in history. City has been divided into colonies by religious & political parties. Ammunition display is getting more and more common. While security forces aren’t delivering at all. Courts aren’t issuing verdicts. All these issues might lead to anarchy or massacre sooner or later.

Considering the whole dreadful situation here is a probable solution I suggest minimizing it:

  1. Karachi should also be declared as a Neutral Zone. No political activities or marketing campaigns should be allowed in it. No provincial or district seats should be allotted. This is a huge sacrifice we might need from all the political parties by choice or by force.
  2. Make Karachi a separate state/province. It would safeguard the interests of the locals at first and others as well. I am not being mean but yes the locals deserve the first preference as the whole country has quota systems and domicile culture. We have to think in the favor of the nation.
  3. Give them their own government structure, security and administration, which have to be decided upon qualification and merit.
  4. City governance should be institutionalized and entrepreneurs & business bureaucrats must be made stake holders.
  5. An intercity work permit should be assigned to all the employees in every sector to keep check and balance.
  6. A limited time visa should be allocated to all those migrants entering the city, to keep check on security issues.
  7. Even in the city an industrial free zone should be made to keep things aligned with special security and incentives.
  8. Special Forces should be designated around the city. This job can easily be done by our local police, prior to their commitment and sincerity.
  9. Special Judicial courts should be established to deliver the verdict as soon as possible.
  10. There should be no concept of Jails, individuals should be punished the moment they are found guilty and then released.

I propose these harsh measures not because am a local of this city but by analyzing the constant deteriorating situation of Karachi for last few years. I know there are more issues to be dealt with such as education, corruption, and inflation etc. But I assure that all of them will fall in line with the implementation of these points.

Karachi has always been the industrial hub and the economic wheel of Pakistan. Its security is important for the interest of nation and such a sacrifice can be made in order to maintain peace and tranquility in this city. The concept of modern city is similar to it, away from politics and
corruption. I personally believe that making a single city Karachi Politics free; would not affect the country’s political dynamics. For Political parties who claim to be so much worried about this city, it should not be difficult for them to comprehend a viable solution. After all, the government is framed not from Karachi but from the coalition and alliance in the center. This can be implemented on temporary basis let’s say 5 years or so, but we have to keep in mind that the Karachi is the heart of Pakistan and we have to maintain its functionality without any hindrance or obstacle.

 

Osama lives in our hearts. May 9, 2011

Long back US created an iconic and legendary artist – Osama Bin Laden. US obnoxiously invested so much in this personified identity, and forgot to evaluate the outcome of the scenario if this dignified fanatic becomes barmy and nuts and gets out of there hand. But considering the providence, this happened. His debut appearance was during the Russian invasion where he pinned them down and forced them to exit. Soon he started his own brigade and then later on, was betrayed by the Saudi’s. This Wahabi mujahid not only dumped and ditched US on the “prom night” but also showed them appropriate fingers are the right times. Like the 9/11 incident which is claimed to be his magnum opus act, but it didn’t seem like he was skilled enough to plot it. But lets not get into it.

His counterpart is Barrack Obama whose government is a complete failure and flop on the big screen. His inept and ineffectual administration is fooling his own citizens again just like Bush did with the help of Osama’s video clip. Unlike Bush, Obama came up with photo shopped pictures of Osama’s dead body. Just before the election he played his cards right on time. According to US media reports this operation was executed on 1st May and is claimed to be done without the knowledge of Pakistan Army or ISI. US Navy Seals were affianced in this operation and they invaded the terrain where Osama was hiding. They engaged, wedged him and left. Later they shot him in the head and dumped the corpse in the sea just like nuclear toxic waste, who knows he may come back as Davey Jones. Two choppers were used in this operation. One of the pilots could handle the charisma of Osama that he crashed his brand new helicopter into the compound.

Apart from this sequel, keeping the tale aside that either he was inPakistanor not but points to ponder are, How can some one just hop into your terrain, operate and leave. Pakistan Army and ISI have sacrificed the sovereignty of the state. It would be a cardinal sin to assume that this incident wasn’t in their knowledge; they might have fully or partially supported it. If this blunder was not in there awareness then this is more thought provoking and insulting. Pakistani forces and ISI are world’s best and still such lame stuff. There is definitely more to this story which we will never be told.

Finally after numerous deaths this character has been put to rest. The whole serial wasn’t directed well at all, they left many loop holes in it. It seemed that the janitors of this drama were in some sort of hurry in which they overlooked to fill in the minor spots. But let’s look at the post match effects of this event, who would be benefited and who may face the music.

  1. US can convince others and pressurize for more operations inPakistankeeping this event as a base and declaring it as Terrorist state.
  2. Obama and his forces can leaveAfghanistanby claiming that they have killed the leader. It is an easy way out.
  3. Afghani Taliban’s can now turn towardsPakistanand take out the revenge.
  4. Obama’s popularity graph has risen once again, he is ready again for the next election, and he has won the confidence again.
  5. Dollar would become stable in the market.
  6. US can now easily justify their drone attacks.
  7. Pakistani Forces can now demand to stop these drones.
  8. Indian andAfghanistanhave a good opportunity to start the blame game once again.
  9. Pakistanwould know who their real friends are in this time of need.
  10. The performance of ISI must be questioned hardly after this event.
  11. Pakistan Army should come up with a good excuse rather then showing their incompetence as they would be questioned by the media.
  12. US should be harshly asked by the global media to present any foolproof evidence of the killing and then dumping in the sea.

Apart from these few outcomes there are many more. Osama has left with many questions unanswered. This man made character has been appearing many times on screen but with the same role and his legacy might end here, or who knows many others would be inspired by his skills and idealize him. If these questions and comments are left unanswered, Obama will live in our hearts forever.

Cat has nine lives but Osama had more. Benazir Bhutto predicted in 2007-8 that Osama is dead long before, but soon after this news she was also assassinated. Several times more US have claimed to kill him in drones. But somehow he just came back from the dead. Finally America has decided to leave him. Suggestions would be, that US should hire some intelligent directors and writers for the sake of themselves. Just for the information, Osama had four wives only and roughly around 24 children more or less as sources report. Osama also has wished, as you can evidently see it from his Will which came out just recently. He wants none of his children to join Al-Qaeda, may be he wants other children to join, be trained and bombard themselves. He wants her widows to not marry further, strange but that’s what his will says. Her daughter has also confirmed that “yes daddy is dead”, sources US media.

 

Taylor Bunged Pakistan’s Progress……Kiwis Mortified Green Shirts March 10, 2011

ICC Cricket World Cup 2011

Pool (A) Match 24:

Pakistan Vs Newzealand:

Pallekelle (08/03/2011):

How to approach this politely? Ian Chappell was pretty polite. “If his batting was as good as Don Bradman’s,” he said on air, “he couldn’t score enough runs to make up for what he costs them with his keeping.

Afridi boys finally found themselves in hot water against a less but proficient opponents, having decided to bat first the kiwis lost McCullum early whose stumps was dislodged by mighty Rawalpindi Express, Jamie how batted for some time ,tried to settle his nerves, but he was unable to find rhythm  after 29 balls he was ruled out lbw to a good delivery off Umar Gul. The biggest climax of the match occurred in 14th over of Shoaib, when he delivers a wicket taking delivery to Taylor, Shoaib has Ross pushing at a one that held its line, and the healthy edge goes ever so slowly to Kamran who is in good position to take it, gets gloves on it, and clangs it, Shoaib can’t do anything about it, he looks hysterical, Taylor and Guptill added some 50 odds for the third wicket, Martin Guptill contributed 57 to scorecard providing Newzealand a solid pedestal. Some little but consolidated contributions from Styris 29 and Nathan McCullum 19 helped Newzealand’s cause and raises its total to 210/6 in 46 overs. This is the time when every one had expected Newzealand to post a maximum of 250 total at this venue but fortune favors the brave, that’s what assisted Ross Taylor with his outstanding blows he had dispatched the bowlers particularly Razzaq and Akhtar in all corners of the ground ,it was worth watching, a total controlled colossal hitting with all hits going way behind the boundary ,biggest six of the tournament was also hit by Taylor ,Jacob Oram also chipped in with 3 sixes adding 25 to his name ,Newzealand ended their innings at 302/7 in 50 overs ,Pakistani bowlers conceded 92 runs in last fours overs which became a world record of giving maximum runs in last 4 overs of the innings by any team in an ODI.Umar Gul was the pick of the bowlers with 3/32 in his complete 10 overs. Pakistan have to chase their highest ever total to win a world cup match ,the openers from which many have expected to perform well in WC 11’ haven’t come up to expectations yet & they have revived their same performance ,Pakistan started her innings in a clumsy manner ,at one stage they were 23/4 in just 8 overs .Misbah and Umar Akmal tried to stabilize the innings ,their efforts ended in vain ,some smart hits from Afridi showed Pakistan might change the scenario through skipper’s Century but he hesitated to stay on the wicket ,Newzealand lost vettori early in Pakistan innings but Pakistan didn’t materialize this tragedy ,Razzaq was the only 50 plus scorer ,he contributed 62 while Umar Akmal 38 and Umar Gul 34* were the other dominant scorers. Newzealand winded up the proceedings in 42th over ,Pakistan ended up with 192 all out ,Tim southee with 3/25 in 8 overs was the pick of the bowlers while Ross Taylor was acknowledged Man of the Match Award for his Match-Winning innings of 131 with 7 sixes and 8 fours. Pakistan had again paid for Kamran Akmal’s blunder.

 

Classified Vulgarity March 5, 2011

Cinemas are among one of the few entertainments we are left with. One of the major ways of enjoyment for our younger generation is watching movies with friends and families. Since the passage of time the Pakistani Cinema started to diminish its role nation wide and so the blank spaces and holes left behind were filled with Bollywood and Hollywood. Their movies are widely popular over here and since our industry isn’t providing the breakthrough its fair enough to have some thing for the people. Watching Bollywood or Hollywood movies is not the agenda of the topic today. Atrium cinemas these days are very much in news; they have created a state of the art structure. They have a 3D Cinema and two normal Cinemas. Open seven days a week for all without any family restrictions, but even then audience over there is pretty educated then other local cinemas. Recently the famous “Black Swan” was released in Pakistan and its premier show was on 18th. Fortunately or Unfortunately I attended that premier with a friend, why I will describe later. Previously I had heard enough about the movie, as a matter of fact up till now the movie has been nominated for 166 times for different categories and different award academies including Oscar, Golden Globe and BAFTA. It has also won 48 awards till yet.

Here goes the issue; the movie is entitled as Drama, Thriller and Mystery, neglecting the fact that it has many bold, vulgar and sexual scenes. “Adult only” was the caption written on the ticket counter. People expected the movie to be adult in way of language, violence or horror. But am sure most of them didn’t expected what they were about to see. They movie had countless extra bold and vulgar scenes in the movie reaching to an extent am not able to define in words. Families and couples were forced to leave the show in the mid of the movie. It was shameless and pathetic piece of act. If someone is watching it in a home it’s a personal thing but how can it be telecasted to a group of audience of around 3 4 hundred. How dare the censor board have passed it for screening? Censor board has to be questioned for it; they have to answer the criteria at which they have judged this movie. Atrium Cinemas should also maintain some moral and ethical values. We aren’t fully immune to this culture and we don’t have to. This activities had to be stopped right here or else its going to spread like a virus. And no literate person should compare this act with the so called enlighten modernization or open mindedness. There is a very visible line between vulgarity and enlightenment. Censor board and Atrium cinema both should be held responsible and should be questioned for such act.

 

 
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